Engleberts in Missouri [miz-er-ree]

Steph has a really cute place, not huge but you would think large enough. It has a nice sized living room, dining room, kitchen, bath, storage room, utility and 2 bedrooms. Pretty roomy, right? Not anymore. Baby equipment has taken over the entire house - especially the living room which now resembles some kind of obstacle course comprised of portable crib, swing, car seat, play mat, and baby chair. Definitely not to be navigated in the dark without fear of injury.

The baby swing was added to the menagerie last night. There are some things about parenthood that you forget to warn expectant moms and dads about. Experienced parents know to fear the words “some assembly required” or “ready to assemble”. Stephanie is discovering that every piece of baby equipment from crib to play mat comes in multiple pieces with nearly indecipherable instructions. Last night as she assembled the baby swing, she had a few choice words for the manufacturer and the person who wrote the instruction sheet. I was so proud - she sounded just like her dad. Just wait till they have to assemble a bicycle on Christmas Eve at midnight because Alex is too excited to go to bed on time and some of the parts are missing! Alex seemed to enjoy his swing once Steph got it going by stealing the batteries from the baby chair.

Last night, Steph and I were watching TV and were bombarded with commercials about the movie The Guardian, which opens today and I really want to see. Steph mentioned that she wanted to see it also but would have to wait until it came out on DVD. Acknowledging that, now that Alex is here, there will be fewer spontaneous movie dates in her life.

I don’t think she knows just how “fewer” that is going to be. Somehow, once you have children, going out on dates with your spouse seems to be something that you only do once in a blue moon — maybe on a holiday or special occasion like your anniversary.

I haven’t been on a date with Steve since last September when we went to the ZZ Top concert. Oh sure, we’ve been out to dinner a lot - there for a while we were eating out 4-5 times a week - but always with at least 1 kid in tow. We’ve been bowling and to the movies - with the kids. We’ve even gone to a couple of work-sponsored functions without the kids - but those were work functions not dates.

Amber’s going on real dates. She has a new beau. They’ve been on a couple of dates and have plans for dinner and a movie on Sunday. It’s not that I’m complaining (really its not - its more like whining), I’d just like to go out a little more often without the kids - a real date, the kind where you shave your legs and wear a nice dress- and I want to do it before we go early for the Senior Citizen special and use our AARP discount.

WTF?!? Friday - Baby Style:

1. We thought Alex was big
2. Words fail me
3. A different kind of mile-high club
4. Gerber Blueberry Buckle was pretty good
5. I guess this is one way to keep them quiet

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Alex is 1 week old today. He is a very sweet baby who loves to be held and talked nonsense to. Today he stayed awake for 3 hours straight - looking around taking in the world. So far, Alex is fairly content unless it is time to eat or he has a dirty one. Of course, that could change on a dime.

Stephanie’s evolution into a “mom” continues. Her purse is now a diaper bag with her wallet crammed into a side pocket. She remembers to bring a binkie but forgets to put on lipstick. Last night I caught her up close and personal with Alex’s butt sniffing to see if he had a poopie diaper. Her pride and amazement at her ability to express 8 oz of breast milk today was both amusing and touching. She’s also been learning to do things with only one free arm. Apparently, this is a skill that you don’t forget. I’ve been carrying the bunchkin around most of the afternoon and was able to successfully transfer laundry, put away some dishes, and assemble a bottle. I think Steph should get one of those baby slings so that she can just wear him. She probably needs these Mom Jeans too.

Yes I am missing the rest of my family and Steve especially but that’s not why I’m taking cold showers. It takes Steph’s shower a long time to warm up - I don’t have that kind of patience and really, “they” say that cold showers are actually good for you. The hardest part of showering in cool water is washing your hair. Quite shocking to the system when you put your head under the water to wet it. Rinse -yes, repeat -no. And forget about shaving the legs - I can’t stand the cold that long! It doesn’t matter anyway cause I won’t be exposing my legs for dinner.

Steph and the baby are doing well. Now that the excitement of the birth is wearing off a little, the exhaustion is catching up with her. Last night I tried to take care of Alex so that she could sleep through the night for a change. Everything went well until 6 am this morning. Mother Nature called to me and Alex woke Steph before I could get back to him. It’s amazing how a woman’s hearing improves once they have a child. (Ok that is weird - I think that’s really the first time I’ve thought of Stephanie as a woman). Alex is on a 10-2-6 schedule round the clock. Pretty much it’s look around a little while, eat, sleep, dirty the diaper, rinse, repeat.