Today is my 17th wedding anniversary. It is also my dad’s 77th birthday. I could have been married on any day but I chose to be married on my dad’s birthday.
They say girls marry their fathers and to some extent that is true for me. My dad gave me the example I needed to find not just a good husband and father for my children but a good man.
My mom and dad started dating when I was 7 yrs old. Whenever he came to take mom on a date, dad always brought us kids small paper bags full of candy. He was trying his best to get us to like him. My parents married in 1972 just before my 8th birthday. Shortly after they married, my dad adopted my brother, 2 sisters and me. What could he have been thinking! It takes a man with a lot of love and commitment to take on 4 kids ranging in age from 18 months to 10 years old! That’s the kind of man my dad is and it’s the kind of man Steve is.
The 17 years that Steve & I have been married haven’t always been bliss. Marriage and parenthood are a lot of hard work – work that’s not always appreciated even by the one you’re partnered with. I think about what it takes to make a relationship work. Who could blame me? I have one failed marriage in my past because I wasn’t mature enough to realize that it’s not “happily ever after†every day; that you have to be willing to compromise and be unselfish.
Even though I’m wiser this time around, I’m still often guilty of neglecting and disrespecting the union I swore to God I’d put above everything else. I have turned down outings with Steve because at that moment I’d rather be a couch potato, only to turn around and complain that we never go anywhere. I’ve frowned at the purchase of yet another tool after spending hundreds of dollars on new clothes or shoes. I’ll let the entire evening pass in a quiet stew; answer “Nothing†when he asks what’s wrong, only to unveil my anger at the exact moment he wants to turn off the lights for bed.
Luckily Steve forgives me and accepts that I’m not perfect. He sees past my shortcomings in the same way I overlook his. To make a marriage work you’ve got to remember that no matter how bad a day you are having, it’ll only count for a small part of your life together, and each bad spot has to be approached with the confidence that it’s going to get better. Because it does.
On our wedding day, we promised not to give up on each other, to face the tough times, to rise above the monotony of the day-to-day, to cop to all of our hang-ups and admit we’re not always right, and most importantly, to remember all of the qualities we appreciate in each other.
There are so many things about Steve that I appreciate. It’s funny how much easier it is sometimes to remember when he doesn’t pick his clothes up off the floor in the morning instead of how my insides get gushy when he gives me that look. I know I don’t tell him often enough but you should know that Steve has many wonderful qualities and these are just a few of the things I love most about him…
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Steve’s love for me is deep and steady. It is built on a foundation of respect and genuine caring.
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Steve is a loving and caring father. He really knows his children.
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Steve is responsible, careful with people, and mindful of their needs.
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Steve is realistic in his expectations of other people.
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Steve is patient and forgiving.
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Steve is compassionate, loving and generous.
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Steve is trustworthy and faithful.
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Steve is an excellent provider for our family.
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Steve is incredibly SMART.
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Steve has an innate sense of how things work and his ability to fix things is a constant wonder to me.
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Steve has a great sense of humor and can really make me laugh.
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Steve is spontaneous and fun.
Steve – I love you. Happy Anniversary.
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