The Real Wedding Crashers premieres tonight on NBC. This is a reality show where a bride and groom agree to have their wedding crashed (more like trashed) by a team of “comedians”. The groom is “arrested” on the night before his wedding to the horror of the Best Man, the Maid of Honor believes she caused one of the bridesmaids to be turned orange in a spray tanning hoax, disasters with the venue and vehicles are staged, the minister takes a phone call in the middle of the vows, a friend is tricked into thinking they ruined the wedding dress, the cake gets trashed, nothing is sacred. Parents are upset; Guests horrified. Oh but don’t worry, the bride and groom are in on it so that makes it all ok.
I can’t believe anyone would want to make such a mockery of their wedding. Don’t most brides want their day to be fairy-tale perfect? I can vividly remember stress levels rising in the days leading up to and including Steph’s wedding day and all of the things that went wrong unintentionally. And even though we all look back now and laugh, I can’t imagine if it had all been done on purpose as a prank.
Do you remember these fun moments?
Friday - The day before the wedding
- Violet gets violently ill on the way out the door Friday morning for the Bridal party’s manicures. Stephanie is left stranded without half the wedding party and more importantly the money for $20 a pop manicures.
- Everyone (20 people) arrives at Cheddars for a luncheon at noon. Making the reservation has apparently been overlooked and the place is packed!
- A relaxing couple of hours at the hotel pool turns into disaster when Steph hits her engagement ring on the concrete side of the pool and breaks the mounting on her ring. Tears and hysteria on the part of the Bride but a complete meltdown was avoided by a wonderful local jeweler who promised to have the ring repaired before the ceremony the next day.
- The wedding rehearsal runs really long leaving a large group of starving people to make their way to the rehearsal BBQ. Thankfully Eric’s parents were able to keep the meat and other foods from becoming shoe leather due to overcooking. However, the meal was consumed in darkness as no one expected to need lights under the canopies.
- On the way to the rehearsal dinner Violet’s illness returns. She spews all over everyone in our van. An emergency stop at a convenience store restroom to hose everyone down and attempt to clean out the van followed by a stop at the local Wal-Mart to buy new clothes for the van’s occupants further delayed the rehearsal dinner festivities.
Saturday - Wedding Day
- Wedding guests - along with everyone else in the Sheraton Hawthorne Park hotel - are woken up at o’-dark-thirty to the sounds of a fire alarm and loudspeaker announcement to “Please evacuate the building”. Some people were smarter than others and arrived in the parking lot modestly covered by whatever clothing they could grab. Others, like the Boy, arrived in the parking lot in their boxer shorts. Amber was thoughtful enough to grab her flute and music, while I stood in the dark looking up at Steph’s wedding gown hanging in the window hoping that the place didn’t burn down.
- Early morning on the wedding day, Steve and the Boy return to Joplin (a 2+ hour round trip) to pick up the flowers - praying that the flower order was able to be completed. The flowers couldn’t be delivered because they had only been ordered 4 days before the ceremony due to the person who was supposed to be taking care of that detail backing out at the last minute.
- “In town” guests not staying at the hotel for the wedding decide to open a Parking Lot bar to pass the time between the ceremony and the reception. Result: some really drunk wedding guests. Will anyone ever forget “Armani Man” aka “Poopy pants” who was so drunk he lost control of all his bodily functions?
- Unexpected guests at the reception create a tizzy when they sit in seats reserved for other reception guests. Things are eventually smoothed over - let me just say that if you don’t RSVP don’t be surprised when you don’t have a seat and don’t complain about where the extra table is placed.
- The bakery delivers the cake to the wrong hotel. Due to the horrible July heat, cake collapses on the trip from the wrong hotel to the right hotel. Bakery says “sorry - nothing we can do” and there is no cake just moments before the reception starts. Luckily, a dude teaching a seminar being held in one of the hotel’s other reception rooms overhears our dilemma and comes to the rescue with a suggestion to call a local restaurant, Ryan’s Steakhouse, who go out of their way to decorate and deliver a cake in record time.
- Guests mistake the hor’s deorves bar for a buffet dinner. Mini cordon bleu’s and other appetizers disappear within minutes. Steve nearly has a coronary trying to explain to the caterer’s that he doesn’t care how many hor’s deorves they’ve already put out - put out some more! Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know it’ll be extra (that was a familiar refrain).
- The speeches had been made and the DJ was playing music to dine by when there was a horrific screech and boom. The DJ comes over to tell us that the amp has blown and he won’t be able to play music for the dancing portion of the evening. At that point, all I could do was laugh hysterically. Turns out that was a prank pulled at the suggestion of my father (my father!).
I think we could have taped Steph’s wedding weekend and made a bundle turning it into “Reality Show” entertainment. At least nothing went wrong on Sunday at the brunch and everyone was able to catch their flights home without delay. I can’t remember anything going wrong at John’s or Laura’s weddings last summer but they may have a different version of events. What are your favorite wedding disaster stories/memories?
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