Amber dropped by unexpectedly last night. It’s the end of the semester and she needs, well, food, but also computer access. I have her computer doing repairs and the computer lab at MSSU was down. Of course that only happens when you have several end of term papers due. She didn’t get her school work done until 2:30 this morning (!!) because it was way too loud and hilarious at our house last night. Why you ask? Because Looky, Daddy! is having a song writing contest that I wanted to enter.
You know how much we love making up new lyrics to songs, especially when they can be used to irritate inspire our children. Like this oldie but goodie…
Sweep Our Home (to the tune of Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd)
Sweep our home, little April
Like I asked you to do
Sweep our home, little April
I don’t wanna step on food
Or how about this classic?
Homework in America (to the tune of Breakfast in America by Supertramp)
Take a look at my homework (ba ba da da)
It’s the only work I’ve got
Not much good at homework
Never seem to learn a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)
Want to go off to a big college
Like to get a job that pays
Don’t study an’ I won’t make it
I’m hoping it’s going to come true
still there’s other things I could do
like playing Nintendo, can I
Mummy dear, Mummy dear
It’s my ticket to a Lexus
Cause every gamers a millionaire (ba da da da, ba da da da)
So, Steve suggested we write a song to the tune of Do-Re-Mi (you know, the “Do - a deer, a female deer” song?) about failed contraceptive methods. Well, we were off and running with the idea. The discarded lyrics had us all laughing hysterically. Well, everyone but Violet. She kept saying “I don’t get it.” She knows that parents have sex to make babies but that’s all she wants to know at this point. Offers to tell her more are met with a red face and immediate refusals. Still, last night she learned about a dozen different methods of preventing pregnancy - unfortunately none of them included abstinence (our children are nothing but well informed).
Anyway, here’s the song that resulted from our collaboration. Head over to Looky!, Daddy for more hilarious lyrics set to familiar children’s songs.
Joe-Ray-Lee (sung to the tune of Do-Re-Mi)
Joe - a pill that did not work
Ray - the sponge was in my purse
Lee - a faul-ty I-U-D
Rob - again! it made me curse
Flo - a condom broke in bed
Shawn - he came along with Flo
Dee - sex I’ve begun to dread
And it all began with Joe!
We write the songs that make the whole world sing.*
______________________________
*Barry Manilow references sure to make Steve cringe.
Stephanie 
virginia 
7