We write the songs, we write the songs*
Amber dropped by unexpectedly last night. It’s the end of the semester and she needs, well, food, but also computer access. I have her computer doing repairs and the computer lab at MSSU was down. Of course that only happens when you have several end of term papers due. She didn’t get her school work done until 2:30 this morning (!!) because it was way too loud and hilarious at our house last night. Why you ask? Because Looky, Daddy! is having a song writing contest that I wanted to enter.
You know how much we love making up new lyrics to songs, especially when they can be used to irritate inspire our children. Like this oldie but goodie…
Sweep Our Home (to the tune of Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd)
Sweep our home, little April
Like I asked you to do
Sweep our home, little April
I don’t wanna step on food
Or how about this classic?
Homework in America (to the tune of Breakfast in America by Supertramp)
Take a look at my homework (ba ba da da)
It’s the only work I’ve got
Not much good at homework
Never seem to learn a lot (ba ba da da, ba ba da da)
Want to go off to a big college
Like to get a job that pays
Don’t study an’ I won’t make it
I’m hoping it’s going to come true
still there’s other things I could do
like playing Nintendo, can I
Mummy dear, Mummy dear
It’s my ticket to a Lexus
Cause every gamers a millionaire (ba da da da, ba da da da)
So, Steve suggested we write a song to the tune of Do-Re-Mi (you know, the “Do - a deer, a female deer” song?) about failed contraceptive methods. Well, we were off and running with the idea. The discarded lyrics had us all laughing hysterically. Well, everyone but Violet. She kept saying “I don’t get it.” She knows that parents have sex to make babies but that’s all she wants to know at this point. Offers to tell her more are met with a red face and immediate refusals. Still, last night she learned about a dozen different methods of preventing pregnancy - unfortunately none of them included abstinence (our children are nothing but well informed).
Anyway, here’s the song that resulted from our collaboration. Head over to Looky!, Daddy for more hilarious lyrics set to familiar children’s songs.
Joe-Ray-Lee (sung to the tune of Do-Re-Mi)
Joe - a pill that did not work
Ray - the sponge was in my purse
Lee - a faul-ty I-U-D
Rob - again! it made me curse
Flo - a condom broke in bed
Shawn - he came along with Flo
Dee - sex I’ve begun to dread
And it all began with Joe!
We write the songs that make the whole world sing.*
______________________________
*Barry Manilow references sure to make Steve cringe.
on April 26th, 2007 at 10:06 am
wow..you guys have to much time on your hands. HAHA j/k
on April 26th, 2007 at 10:12 am
That’s because we don’t have a little baby demanding constant attention like you do. Kisses to Alex.
on April 26th, 2007 at 2:41 pm
I only know about stories passed down from generation to generation. One I would like to introduce to your website is one of a poor farmer and his {#} sons. Well…. You see, this farmer and his sons were out in the field plowing and the old farmers wife rang a bell and said ” SUPPERS ON!!” The boys and old man start to run toward the house and the old man fell down. After falling, he just picked up his hoe and started again, saying” well, it’ll all be gone when I get there anyway.” I think we can all relate to this story, at least in the Sisson family, not because we ourselves were ever involved in the scenario, but, more tragically, were subjected to this story for years without relief. But, and I don’t mean to make my response longer than the blog, I will certainly retell this crazy story to my kids. Oh Yeah, I do remember a song……” JOhnnny Wonny Ponny………….. Raymond knows the rest, which I will not print in fear that Mom might read this blog :)
on April 26th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
I think Jonny Wonny Ponny was the 4th verse of a song that included Virginia Mominia Popinia, Wanda Honda Zero and Penny Winney Minney. Yeah - that Raymond, he really had a way with the lyrics. I remember that song sending each one of us into either a rage or tears depending on which verse was being sung. Strangely, I always thought it was hilarious as long as he was singing verse 2, 3 or 4.
on April 26th, 2007 at 6:30 pm
I remember one year all you guys were going to virginia’s for Thanksgiving, or was it Lynn’s I don’t know. Anyway y’all wanted us to be there too. I recall starting out in our old car. We got about half way there and had a flat tire. Well I got out and and tried to fix it, change the tire ya know. I finally got tha thing changed and got back in tha car. I told Ma I said we might as well go on back home them kids’ll have all that food et up time we git there anyhow.
on April 26th, 2007 at 7:38 pm
I’m happy to have been the occasion for so much mirth, but I should warn you that bloggers who post Barry Manilow lyrics are banned from winning any prizes. Even those that make the young girls cry.
on August 15th, 2007 at 10:36 am
[…] Remember that little ditty we wrote for the song contest? Well there’s more than a little truth in there. Most of my children were unplanned. Not unwanted, not unloved, not uncherished (is that a word?). But unplanned. Some, like Violet, were a complete shock. Others, though not planned, weren’t a big surprise. […]
on November 5th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
And the answers to kommety be?