Warning: this post contains the rantings of a woman who heard too much about astroturf and not enough about education last night - if you like astroturf you will probably be offended if you read this post. Also, I used the F word but have since washed my mouth out with soap so it’s all good.
Lambaste [lam-beyst, -bast],
- To give a thrashing to; to beat or whip severely.
- To reprimand or scold sharply; berate; censure; excoriate.
Last night, the school board quickly and unanimously decided to lop off a week of school. This morning I find my name in bold print on the front page of the Joplin Globe, my words somewhat misquoted.
I am the dominatrix of the school board. But they refuse to be my bitch.
Let me tell you how it all went down…
I spent quite a bit of time yesterday writing out exactly what I wanted to say to the school board last night. I dressed carefully, hopped in the car and headed to the high school determined to voice my opinion on the Snow Days issue.
As I pulled into the parking lot, which was filled to capacity with cars, I was impressed with the number of parents who had turned out for the board meeting. Sadly, they weren’t all there for the board meeting but mostly for a Senior Spotlight event. Still, the board room was pretty full. There were about 40 people seated and quite a few more standing in the back of the room.
The board meeting started with the usual boring stuff (roll call, approving previous minutes, etc) and quickly moved to the entertainment portion of the evening. A group of 2nd graders from one of the elementary schools did a little song and dance number for the board. “Talk the Talk, Walk the Walk, School and Education Rock!” they sang their little hearts out. I had hope that the board would take to heart those lyrics but they fell on deaf ears. Because, ya know, its just a cute little song.
After the song-and-dance routine was over, about 3/4 of the spectators left the board meeting. Apparently they had only come to see their children perform. At this point I may have dozed off several times, as the board moved on to the gratuitous flattery portion of the meeting. How great was that concert at xyz middle school! If you missed the musical at the high school this weekend it was awesome! Let me tell you about every janitor, cafeteria worker and bus driver that is retiring this year. They will be missed!
The business portion of the meeting included a 45 MINUTE discussion about astroturf for the football field and a 5 minute presentation on reducing the school’s instructional day by another 30 minutes. Yes that’s right. 45 MINUTES ON ASTROTURF. 5 minutes on reducing the instructional day. 900 questions asked by the board about ASTROTURF. 1 question on reducing the school day. ASTROTURF - very important. Education- not so much.
Thirty minutes a day. 174 days a year (give or take 4 or 5 days if it snows and it’s just too inconvenient to make up the days). 87 hours - 14.5 days of instruction cut from the curriculum. 5 minute discussion. But wait…HAVE WE HEARD ENOUGH ABOUT THE ASTROTURF?
Shut the fuck up about the turf already!
Let’s talk about “Eagle Time” which apparently is somewhat like Miller Time only for high schoolers. Basically, we’ll reduce every class by 4 minutes in order to create a 30 minute block of time every day for students to do their homework. A mandatory study hall. But only mandatory for some students. If you are a Junior or Senior, passing all your classes, and haven’t missed more than 2 days of school in each 4-week period, well , you can just go home early for the day. Woo-Hoo! Its Eagle Time!!!! What a great idea! Do you know how many students are flunking classes because they won’t do their homework? And what about those football students who don’t have time to do their homework because they want to participate in extra-curricular activities? BTW, can we talk about the ASTROTURF again?
Shortly after that impressive display on the importance of education, the board quickly voted in favor of throwing out the missed snow days. I mean, come on, Superintendent Simpson thinks it’s important for failing students and teachers to have a break before starting summer school. Those students clearly need time off more than they need class time.
The board meeting ended with the Public Comments portion of the evening. Several more people got up to talk about ASTROTURF! WE NEED IT! WE CAN’T BE COMPETITIVE WITHOUT IT! ASTROTURF! ASTROTURF! ASTROTURF!
I finally got a chance to address the board and, completely fed up by the lack of time spent discussing education issues, threw out my carefully crafted speech and told the board just how disappointed I was with their performance on this issue. A complete waste of breath but I just couldn’t let it go without saying something.
The really funny part? After the board meeting, 2 different school board members came up to talk with me and assure me that they felt throwing out the school days was wrong too. WTF? Then why did you vote “yes”?
6