Engleberts in Missouri [miz-er-ree]

or are they really? Is anything really unrelated? I mean, I’m related to the people in the stories. They are related to each other. There’s a definite theme of school and bragging going on… hmmmm… maybe they’re related after all…

Lesson Learned

Creativity in the classroom - I’ve been impressed by it before and it seems Violet’s new teacher has it in spades. She has lots of ideas for fun ways to teach the kids everything they need to know to “become successful in whatever career we choose.”

One of Mrs. B’s fun ideas is “Money Bucks” - a fun way to learn economic concepts and works as an incentive as well. Using play money, students are paid for various things throughout the year.

This past weekend Violet wrote her spelling words 100 times each for a total of 2000 words to earn a few Money Bucks. She needs the money because she had to pay $20 in “rent” this month.

She also has to pay other “bills” throughout the year. I like the idea of a $5 “doctor bill” for every trip to the nurse’s office. I won’t say Violet’s a hypochondriac but sometimes I think she could tough out a headache or a cold a little longer.

I’d imagine Violet will put her “money” in the bank to earn interest. She’s quite the little saver. Later in the year she’ll be able to go to the mini-mall to buy fun stuff. Or maybe she’ll save it up to buy her way out of an assignment ($50) or some test she didn’t prepare for well enough ($100). Whatever she does with her Money Bucks, she’ll be learning about money management in a fun way.

Another creative idea Mrs. B had to teach government was to hold classroom elections each quarter. Every quarter the class will elect a President and Vice President. Anyone can run for office including incumbents. Just like Dubbya though, a person can only be President for 2 terms.

Not surprisingly, Violet decided to run for Class President. Campaign funds were limited so Violet chose to put up a few posters and hand out flyers and pencils (she’s the Right (write) Choice). As part of their campaign, each candidate had to give a stump speech on why they would make a great class president. The election was held on Friday.

Violet came home full of news about the election. Her speech went well and she felt confident that she would win the election. I asked her who she voted for and she immediately replied “I didn’t make that mistake again! I voted for ME!” Unfortunately, Violet’s teacher was out on Friday so Violet’s been on pins and needles all weekend waiting to find out the results.

The election results were announced yesterday afternoon and (cue balloon drop and music) Violet was elected class president!

High School Reunion Hell Redux

Over the weekend I got an e-vite to my 25th High School reunion. I knew it was coming up but didn’t know the exact date of the event. I was hoping to go - Steve and I went to my 10th reunion and it was quite entertaining. I think most people are more interesting when they are 3-sheets to the wind and watching two classmates, who were going through a War of the Roses style divorce, fighting viciously in public is always good for a laugh or two.

We won’t be able to attend this time. The reunion is scheduled for Saturday, September 29th in Tennessee. That’s the day after my daughter’s 18th birthday. You guys know what a big deal that is at our house, so I’ll have to miss out on all the fun.

I’d like to say that I’m terribly disappointed not to be going to my reunion but that would be a big fat lie. High School wasn’t a horrible life-scaring experience for me but they weren’t the best years of my life either. There are a few people I’d like to catch up with but really, if we had a lot to say to each other wouldn’t we have kept in touch?

And Holy Beejeebus! Can you believe it? A 4th child successfully kept alive to the age of 18 - not a drug fiend or alcoholic, not in trouble with the law, not a smoker, still in school and NOT PREGNANT!! Woo Woo! We ROCK as parents!

College calling

I am guilty of being one of those braggy people. I don’t brag about myself a lot but I love to brag about my kids. “Oh look at my little Jonnie. Go Jonnie go. Your a winner! You’re always a winner cause you came out of my womb.” ad Nauseum. So be prepared for this next story.

April and Jon took their ACT exams earlier this summer. They had both been studying and preparing for the exam for months but the final study phase nearly caused me to become homicidal. I had purchased a study book that had 10 practice ACT exams. For 2 weeks before the exam, Jon took a practice exam every morning.

Each practice exam was preceded by an argument over the where and how the practice exam would be taken. Someone didn’t think it was necessary to recreate the testing environment as closely as possible; a different someone thought it was very important. After a loud and lengthy “discussion” each morning, the one someone would finally sit at the dining table with pencil, calculator and test booklet and the timer would start. The practice exams lasted for several hours. This was a peaceful time as there is no talking during the exam.

After the last stop-and-put-your-pencil-down, we would go over each exam. This was the source of the majority of the torture experienced each day. April was in Georgia so at least it was one-on-one torture.

The math and science portions of the exam were never at issue. Those subjects are so easy and straightforward. No arguing about meaning or tone. I’ve taken lots of math courses over the years in high school and college and I’ve been thankful for years that I have mad math skills. Jon has mad math skills too and the number of problems missed was small. Going over those sections of the test was a breeze.

The English and Reading portions? A whole other story. Have you ever tried to convince someone that their interpretation of a particular passage was way off base and that’s why they missed the question? No? Well let me tell you that if that someone is my son Jon, you are in for a treat. Who knew that an innocent question like where best to put a comma or semi-colon, or the best way to phrase something could cause such turmoil? Discussion of a seemingly innocent question like

For the sake of logic and coherence, Sentence 5 should be placed:
A. where it is now.
B. before Sentence 1.
C. after Sentence 2.
D. before Sentence 4.

would result in a barrage of dissenting opinions and eventually break down to “well that’s stupid. I don’t agree with your interpretation.” “Well, my interpretation is the correct one according to the answer guide.” “Well the answer guide is wrong. Not only that but it’s a bad question and should be thrown out.” “It’s not a bad question! You’re just interpreting it wrong!” “This book is stupid! These tests are stupid!” and downhill from there. I can tell you that I never want to have a discussion about the different meanings of “convictions” again.

Each day I would send up a little prayer “Dear God, Please, please let June 9th get here as quickly as possible! Amen”

Exam day eventually arrived and the daily practice sessions ended. We waited for the results to come in and hoped both kids’ scores would be great. The ACT exam is one of the holy grails of college admissions and scholarships. A great score on the ACT exam (combined with a good gpa) and you can pretty much write your own ticket.

Both kids did very well on the Exam and have received tons of crap in the mail from a variety of colleges who want our kids to attend their institution. Jon did phenomenally well. Well enough that he’s qualified for a full-ride at his backup college. He’s been hoping for something similar from his first choice college, University of Arkansas. We know he’s qualified for several scholarships there but he hasn’t gotten anything from them yet.

Last night the phone rang. It was the University of Arkansas calling. They wanted to talk to Jon about his college plans and what his major would be so that they could send him literature tailored to his plans.

The college called him! I’m completely impressed.

Sometimes I think everyone wonders what I do all day long. Home alone. Without children.

Mostly I lay on the couch, eating bonbons, watching soaps and surfing the internet.

Occasionally I get off my lazy rump and clean a dish or two. Amazingly, sometimes I even sweep a floor or mop a little.

Lately I’m filling my time with home improvement projects. Like my front entry.

I repainted the walls, spruced up the wood flooring, got a pretty rug, added some art work and created a couple floral arrangements and even finally got this little storage cabinet painted and in place. I think it looks much more homey and welcoming now.

I’ve also been reorganizing cabinets and closets.

Yesterday I dug out Violet’s room. She does an ok job of keeping it picked up but every month or two I go in there and do a really deep clean. Violet loves to do craft projects and is constantly “publishing” a variety of newspapers, magazines and whatnot. This results in the accumulation of a lot of paper scraps. So vacuuming behind the furniture and getting all the scraps out from under her bed, dressers and side tables is a must.

I’m really happy with her closet. I had Steve install a couple closet organizers a few years ago. I like that the shelves are infinitely repositionable since Violet’s storage needs are always changing depending on what toys and crafty things she’s playing with the most these days. Her needs are changing though, so yesterday I decided to add a shoe organizer to the mix. Unfortunately, the original closet organizers didn’t want to play nicely with the new brand of closet organizer and the shoe cubby was about 1/2 inch too wide to fit correctly. I’m thrilled to tell you that I was able to use A POWER SAW (!!) to shorten the cubby just the right amount to fit into the organizer.

Today I’m going to start stripping the wallpaper off my kitchen walls. It’s horrible! Once that’s gone we can move forward with the remodel of the kitchen. More counter space and cabinets would be a dream come true.

I got a package in the mail yesterday. I found it in the mailbox this morning on the way to the bus stop with Violet.

[Yes - I check the mail every day. I just checked too soon on Wednesday]

[Yes - I drive my daughter to the bus stop around the corner every morning. I feel like a big doofus standing on the corner - it’s much better to sit in the car and wait for the bus.]

[Yes - you’d think a SAHM would drive their child to school every morning but nope - I make her ride the bus.]

Anyway, this package.

As we sat at the bus stop waiting for Tom the Bus Guy to arrive and whisk Violet away for the day (the whole day! They all go to school all day!), I ripped open this package. Inside I found this:

Violet, of course, wanted to know what was in the package. So I showed it to her.

“M.D. Denny Sisson … Hey! That’s Papa’s name!”

“Papa wrote a real book?”

She flipped the book over. “Yep - here’s where they tell about the author.”

“I guess Papa’s going to be famous now.”

I guess so pumpkin. My dad. The author.

I’m planning to sit down this week and read my dad’s book. My. Dad’s. Book. How many people can say they actually wrote a book? I’m so proud of him.

You can get your own copy here.

Steve left early Sunday morning on a business trip. A business trip to Utah via Las Vegas. He returned home late last night (technically early this morning) with literally only the clothes on his back.

You might think he lost everything he took with him gambling - because he did gamble - but he didn’t. As punishment for going to Las Vegas without me, I arranged for the airlines to treat him shabbily, cancel all of his flights, move him from one airline to another and finally, lose his baggage.

Ha! That’ll teach him to go to sin city without me!

I wasn’t worried about him going to Vegas without me. I mean, sure, there’s the drinking and the gambling and the cheap hookers delivered within 15 minutes to your hotel room (according to some pimp handing out fliers). I know there’s the whole “if something happens in Vegas, you better stay in Vegas” thing. But I know Steve - and he doesn’t want to stay in Vegas. I’m just a little jealous. We’ve been talking about going for a long time but every time we make plans they have to be canceled.

Utah worried me more than Vegas did. We’ve been watching that HBO show Big Love all season and I thought it might have given him a few ideas. Let me just say that the only “sister wife” I want is one who sleeps in the basement, does all the cooking and cleaning, and never gets any “nights” if you know what I mean. I’m not very good at sharing.

I was looking for a cute comic strip to add to this post. Have you seen the results you get when you type in Las Vegas and Strip? Not pretty.