Engleberts in Missouri [miz-er-ree]

One of Violet’s friends has a really cute t-shirt with the slogan “Modest is Hottest”. I love that slogan especially since I don’t want Violet to be a little ‘ho in training.

It’s difficult sometimes to find clothing that is modest but cute. Clothing that both Violet and her father and I can agree on. Difficult but not impossible.

Sure, every shopping trip includes at least one or two wails of “everybody else…” or “it’s not that skimpy!!!” but we always prevail and appropriate clothing is purchased.

This time of year it’s even harder than normal - it’s swimsuit shopping season and modest is definitely not what most swimsuit designers are going for. Violet tried on her swimsuit from last year and looked like she was about to bust out all over - definitely not the look we’re comfortable with. So, time to replace her suit.

That is no easy chore. It is really hard to find a suit that is flattering, that Violet likes and meets with our approval. And the stores? They are not helping with their limited selections of one piece suits.

Surely we are not the only family in the country who doesn’t want their prepubescent daughter prancing around in a skimpy swimsuit? *crickets chirping* Are we?

Maybe we are hopelessly old-fashioned. Still, my daughter’s tummy puddin’ isn’t going to be on display this summer so the bikinis and tankinis and every other ini is outti.

After a long and mostly fruitless search on the internet, I finally came across this site…Wholesome Wear. I think this is exactly what we’ve been searching for…what do you think about this suit? It definitely highlights her face and not her body, no?

I don’t remember where I first saw this cartoon but it still makes me laugh.

You’ve known it since the day you were born and your mom slapped a diaper on your backside.

My dad knew it even though he would complain loudly about how he should buy stock in TP.

Now that I’ve had so many children I know exactly what he was complaining about.

Here’s a solution for those who are tired of spending so much money on “waste”d paper.

The Washlet

I saw this on Dooce. That guy could be replaced with any one of the people who live in this house.

“Hello, NASA Help Desk. How may I help you?”

“NASA, This is the International Space Station. Our computers are down. I repeat, our computers are down!”

“Calm down sir. Are these mission critical computers?”

“Yes, without them we have no climate control, oxygen or water!”

“Ok sir, hold for just one moment. My system is a little slow today….

Ok sir, please describe exactly what is wrong with your system.”

“Nothings working. The screen is blank. Those guys on the Atlantis must have broken something when they installed the new solar array.”

“What happens when you turn the computers on?”

“It won’t turn on anymore!!!!”

“So you don’t see any lights or hear any noises when you turn it on?”

“I’m telling you it WON’T TURN ON.”

“Is it plugged in?”

“Of course it’s plugged in you moron! I’m an astronaut, I think I know that a computer has to be plugged in!”

“Ok, what were you doing when the computer stopped working?”

“I was plugging my Nintendo DS into the power strip to recharge.”

“Really? What else is plugged into there?”

“Well, my radio, my space heater, my cup warmer, a couple of system monitors and my computer.”

“Did you unplug anything to plug your DS in?”

“Yes, my space heater.”

“Ok, unplug your DS and plug your space heater back in.”

“Hey! The computers are working now! I noticed it was getting cold up here. It must have been too cold for them to work! Thanks - you really saved our lives!”