Engleberts in Missouri [miz-er-ree]

My son is moving into the dorm tomorrow. It’s right next door to where my daughter moved her bedroom this past Sunday. Thus making it easier for me to pick them up on my way home from work each night. It’s kind of like college daycare.

Tonight at dinner my son totally shocked me …

“I’ll mow your yard every Sunday if you’ll feed me dinner” he said. I nearly fell over dead.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it before, but getting Jon to mow the grass once a week these past few years has been a lot like hog-tying a greased pig. It’s hard is what I’m saying.

April, not to be outdone in the bargaining department or left out of an opportunity for free food, immediately piped up with “I’ll clean the kitchen after dinner if you’ll let me come too”.

Who knew I could have been trading Sunday dinner for chores all these years?

My children are pretty competitive so I’m expecting a pretty good offer from Vicki any time now.

I mean, I can’t just let her come to dinner for free any more, now can I?

Edited to add: Well, geez-louise, of course I can’t put up yet another version of that picture without putting up one of April too. What was I thinking!??! Here you go:

We moved April into the dorm on Sunday. We toted more boxes and bags into that teeny tiny room than you would have thought could possibly fit.

We left April alone with her pile of stuff at 3pm. By 5pm she had called to see if one of us could come pick her up for dinner.

Today, I got an instant message from April around 4 pm. After a few innocent inquires, she finally got around to what she really wanted. Could I stop by the dorm, pick her up and bring her home for dinner and The Closer?

After dinner, April did some savvy bargaining with her dad to exchange a haircut for yet another dinner tonight. And could I, pretty please, pick her up on my way home from work?

Then there’s the driving her back to her bedroom every night. It was so much easier when she could just walk down the hallway.

I really had high hopes for Wednesday evening when Jon moves to the dorm but it’s looking like I’ll just be adding another stop onto my daily commute.

My daughter Amber is nearly 24 years old and has never lived alone. For most of those 24 years she hasn’t even slept in a room alone, sharing a room first with her sister and then later with her college roommate Jamie. In fact, she and Jamie shared a no-bedroom studio that was smaller than my bathroom for over 2 years. They were very close friends.

I can imagine how lonely and quiet her new apartment must be. All alone in a new city. It’s driven her to acquire a pet.

I was sure she would have gotten a cat. Nope - cat food. She got 2 white mice. Mice. Rodents. Those aren’t pets - they’re pests.

Eventually Amber hopes to get a cat so I’m thinking the mice might actually be a good choice because once she can afford a cat, the mice can be dinner. Amber doesn’t think that’s funny. She doesn’t think April’s funny either…

April says: Dad says Walmart makes these mouse toys…

Amber says:What kind of toys?

April says:and you put some cheese on them and then they go SNAP!

Amber says:harharhar

April says:peanutbutter works too

Amber says:lol

Amber says:Well, Dasha and Foxy aren’t getting snapped

Amber says:unless they get free

Amber says:which is unlikely in a wire cage

The other night, after dinner out at Stout’s, Steve decided we should stop by the grocery store and pick up some ice cream for dessert. I wasn’t in the mood for ice cream and told Steve I thought I’d just have a piece of cheesecake.

See, I had bought a cheesecake earlier in the week and hadn’t eaten any yet. I had had oral surgery and my mouth was sore for days (yea Vicodin!). The kids had a piece after dinner one night but I knew most of it should still be left. (foreshadowing here)

So, Steve and the kids picked up ice cream and I picked up some cherry topping - for my cheesecake - and we all headed home.

At home, everyone starts enjoying their ice cream and I open my cherry topping and head for the fridge to get the cheesecake. Only…..there’s no cheesecake.

Gone. All of it. 12 pieces. Not a crumb remaining.

Where had it gone? My gluttonous children had devoured it. April had eaten FOUR pieces and Jon had eaten SIX pieces. The other 2 missing pieces had been eaten by Steve.

Sadness.

So, no cheesecake for me. Fast forward to last night at dinnertime.

We eat dinner together pretty much every night. At the end of the meal, the kids (mostly) ask to be excused from the table.

Last night I refused to excuse first Jon then April. They were somewhat confused by this unusual refusal to let them leave the table so I explained that I had purchased CHEESECAKE for dessert (snickering under my breath at my nefarious plans to taunt them…).

I rose from the table and retrieved the cheesecake and the cherry topping and proceeded to plate a piece for myself. Then I sat back down and began eating it with much gusto. I accompanied each bite with exclamations like “mmmm” and “ohhhhh” and “this is so good”.

The children cried “Don’t we get a piece?” and I reminded them that they had eaten their cheesecake already and continued to “mmmmm” and “ohhhh” as I slowly ate my piece of cheesecake a la When Harry Met Sally.

I must say that April and Jon were good sports about the teasing/torture and were actually laughing each time I ooh’d or mmm’d.

I mentioned this story to someone today and their response kind of shocked me. I thought it was funny. They acted like I had emotionally abused the children.

What do you think? Also, I did let them have a piece of cheesecake after I enjoyed mine if that will sway your opinion to my side.

Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah
Here I am at Camp Mintahama.
Camp is very entertaining
And it’s really hot but at least it isn’t raining.

We went hiking, stepping lively
Through the poison oak and ivy.
We’ve been canoing, I’ve learned to whistle
And I finally got a “license” for my water pistol.

Though they promised, there’ve been no s’mores,
And I need them more and more,
Cause I think I’m getting thinner,
That swinging bridge- it makes me lose my dinner.

Oh, I’ve been here for a week now
Showering and flushing, I’ve forgot how
But my new friends, they aren’t real picky
Cause they know I’m not the only one that’s stinky!

Though I miss you, dad and mother
And a little, sisters and brother
I must tell you, I have a confession
I really want to stay another session.

See you next week,

Love Violet